We Just Go On
by ravenchelsea
Summary: Kurt realizes that he is with the wrong guy. And Sam regretting he missed his chance with Kurt. In which both of them do nothing about it. Very short story.
1. Kurt

"**What happens when the one you love is not the one you're with…"**

Kurt glances at his boyfriend, who seemed to enjoy himself with practicing with Rachel. He sighs, he was not jealous or anything, it was just expected. Their duets don't nearly sound as good, so he says he totally understands. He reassures Blaine time and time again that it was okay. What's left to be jealous about when he's got little to no romantic feelings for the guy smiling across the choir room as if dedicating the song to him. He gives him a small smile and sighs when his boyfriend looks away. What happened along the way, he didn't know. Whenever they spend dates together, it seems like going out with a friend. No butterflies in the stomach, no giddiness and more importantly no spark with just the merest brush of skin. If only he feels this way towards Blaine, he would be happy. But he doesn't feel this way towards Blaine, he never did, it was just a crush. And after him being kissed by Blaine, it all seemed too good to be true that he accepted them. All the while he keeps thinking to himself that it will take time, that he's new to all this, that he was just in shock and the feeling's yet to sink in, all the different reasons he could think of, just to justify this relationship. But it was, unfortunately a dead end.

His heart beats for another guy he knows he couldn't have. It must be his disease. Kurt always wants what he can't have. Overtime, it just became a routine for him to detach himself from love, it seems that fate, or destiny or whatever, doesn't want him to be happy when it comes to romance. He sighs again. He just hopes that this bottled up feelings would just go away. But what can he do when the guy he has feelings for was always with him. How can he turn away from his best friend? Yes, that's the highest possible relationship they can have. That's why this has been a problem. This whole thing is just wrong. Firstly because he is with Blaine. Secondly, Sam is straight. Lastly, they are best buddies, and he doesn't want to ruin that.

Clearly his mind and his heart are not in sync. His mind knows that they could only be friends. But his heart already reached conclusions. It was sad really, constantly being at war with it. A battle with the heart is not easily won. When did everything become so complicated? Every time, Sam and him hang out together, he needs to rein in all the emotions. The way butterflies erupt in his stomach with a smile from Sam. The way his heart pounds with the sound of Sam's laughter. The way his cheeks flush with Sam's touch. He can't possibly let Sam know this. So he pretends and takes control. He locks up all this feelings because it isn't right it's wrong.

When the bell rang, Blaine and Kurt exited together, hands entwined. A sad smile graces Kurt's face and meets Blaine's radiant one. And from then one, he could feel how everything just went wrong, and the further this goes the more wrong it will become. He doesn't think about it because he can't do anything so he just goes on.


	2. Sam

"**What happens when your soul mate is already in love…"**

Sam stares absently at the duet in front of him. It was the usual, nothing new really. It was Rachel and Blaine, the new stars of the glee club. He glances briefly at Kurt. He looks bored, but then again, what's new? This time he studied Kurt, which was really deep in thought. He decides not to disturb him. Kurt stays the same throughout the whole glee period. Sam wonders what was bothering him. So he goes for Kurt right after the bell rang but turns on his heel quickly when he notices Blaine, escorting Kurt out. He stares longingly at Kurt and his hand entwined with Blaine. Sam's heart drops, and he suddenly feels all sad. It could've been him holding Kurt's hand if he wasn't a coward before.

He remembers, Kurt called him honorable, but does it really apply to him? If he was, then he shouldn't have let Kurt go in the first place. There was something there but he was scared to face it, now he faces his regret every single day with a walking reminder to boot. Not to mention that he knew his feelings for this boy when the boy just got taken, oh how sweet it was, not at all. He could've been bitter but no, he wants what makes Kurt happy. So he just let it go. They had stayed friends though, so it's cool. That was an excuse to hug and be with Kurt and be close to the boy. If that's the only way, he'll take it and not ruin it. Who was he to complain? Mr. Honorable, yeah right.

When he left, he didn't know he was leaving a part of him. In fact, he couldn't explain the way how his heart felt like lead the day they were on the road. And after the pain, he felt the emptiness of the void that he never knew was there. He was missing Kurt, so so much, thinking that he couldn't leave without the other boy. They had been so close and it was all ripped away from him. But then the cloud has truly a silver lining. When they got a computer, Kurt and him had been in constant communication. Just emails and instant messaging, at first, then they did Skype when Sam was able to buy a webcam from his work. It was all worth it just to see Kurt and talk even if it's hundreds of miles away. Somehow his heart felt lighter and swelled at the idea that they talked almost every day.

He was so happy when Finn and Rachel came to pick him up, it was an opportunity, that he couldn't say yes if it was up to him. But he eventually got to go. He was ecstatic, and Finn offering their house, Kurt's house too. How can he possibly say no? This was the moment that he had been waiting for. By then Kurt was a big part in his heart that he didn't know if he could possibly live without Kurt. He knew he has fallen in love.

But after all that, his world came crashing down, knowing that Blaine transferred for Kurt. Now what? He was heartbroken, but he didn't let Kurt see it. If Kurt's happy, he's happy. He had his chance and he missed it. He couldn't fix how wrong this was, it was his doing. He can't find away how to be able to be with Kurt not as friends, but as something more. But Kurt's already invested in Blaine, and they look happy together. Who was he to get in the way?

He felt his soul has been ripped in two with the whirlpool of events. So he proceeded on pretending to like girls even if his mind is filled with Kurt, their past, their present and their future. He gives up, he doesn't know how to repair the wrongness of it all. There is nothing he can do now, so he just goes on.


	3. Kurt and Sam

"**What happens when 'I love you' comes too late…"**

Sam knocks on Kurt's door. He just needs to say something before they both go their separate ways this weekend.

"Come in," Kurt says.

Sam goes in and found Kurt, hands on his hips, facing his closet.

"Hey," Sam greets quietly.

"Hey," Kurt replies, turning to face Sam. Kurt gives him a small smile, "What's up?" Kurt prompts.

"Just want to see how you're holding up?" Sam asks. Kurt just shrugs.

"Oh, you know, excited, and a bit nervous," Kurt answers. Sam just keeps looking at him expectantly.

"Oh," Kurt simply states, "About that." Kurt shrugs again. "Nothing," Kurt utters.

"Nothing?" Sam asks.

"Sam, relax, I'm over it," Kurt says, giving Sam an earnest smile.

"Oh," Sam says.

Kurt just laughs. Sam gives him a smile in return.

"This is it, huh?" Sam asks. "I guess," Kurt replies.

"Anyway, at least we got to spend most of the school year together," Sam says solemnly.

"Yes, with that I am thankful," Kurt states, "Now after we part, it's back to emails and video chats, huh?" he says.

Sam chuckles. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Well, I'll miss you," Kurt declares. Sam gave a noncommittal nod, "Yeah, me too," Sam says.

"Spill, Sam, what is it?" Kurt asks, concerned, "I know that look, there's something bothering you," he prompts.

"Kurt I-I," Sam begins, "I need to tell you something, I know this couldn't be the right time, but it can't wait. I wanted to say this before but-" he rambles.

"Sam!" Kurt cuts him off not unkindly, "Just say it, I will totally understand," he says giving Sam an encouraging smile.

"Well, I-I love you," Sam blurts. Kurt just smiles. "Of course, I love you too, Sam," Kurt replies

"No, not I love you as a friend Kurt, I love you love you," Sam declares. Kurt stares at Sam, eyes wide.

"Sam, I-I," Kurt stammers. Sam walks towards Kurt and takes his hands into his.

"Look, I love you, even before, and even more now, I don't know, I just feel it is right."

"Sam, why now? It's all too late, and you know I'm going to New York and you to your family."

"I know, I've been scared, but not anymore. I couldn't bear the thought of you not knowing, and the regret of not trying at all."

"I-I"

"Listen, you don't need you to say it back, I just wanted to let you know, and I'll always be here for you."

With that, Sam gives Kurt a small smile and turns around to go back to the door.

"Sam, wait!" Kurt calls out Sam stops abruptly.

"Sam, what if I do want to say it back?" Kurt asks, eyes beginning to tear up. Sam walks slowly towards Kurt.

"Sam, I love you too," Kurt declares. Sam just holds him.

They stay that way for what seemed hours but it only lasts a few minutes.

"But, I'm afraid it's all too late," Kurt simply says, "We can't be together with college and everything."

"I know, that's why I'll find a way for us to be together, soon," Sam declares softly.

Sam cups Kurt's face in his hand and kisses him softly. Kurt's hand cups the side of Sam's face. And they break away. A look of understanding passes between the two.

"And that's my promise to you, Kurt Hummel."


End file.
